I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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