this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize