I wish I could teleport
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize