Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
