woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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