ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
