Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
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You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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