brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
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dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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