i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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