I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
