of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
