I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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