And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
