Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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