Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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