As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
