She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
