Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
