I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
