Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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