they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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