Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
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do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
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He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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