Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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