i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I need mimosas to revive my soul
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
