I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
