I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
