I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
thus making me awesome and them whores
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
