tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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