What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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