We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
