Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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