Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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