laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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