I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize