A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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