Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
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I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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