RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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