eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
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I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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