So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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