Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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