ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
