I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I am one with the molecules
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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