Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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