wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
