id be glad to
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
