she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
