so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The Olympian is in my bed
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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