I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
