if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
