You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Randomize
