I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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