Don't make out with my wife yet
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
