when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
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Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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