bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just gargled with NyQuil
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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