a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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