your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
