My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
