just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
