White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So much rum. So many feels.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
